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Expectations are like Ass-Sumptions


Today was one of those single Mama days where one can’t help but look around and see all the families with their two parent households and I wonder how many of them are miserable, happy or indifferent. I can’t help it. Today was the holiday sing-a-long for the Monkey’s school and then Kindergarten awards for his class. It’s not our first school event but this marks the end of the first semester of ‘official’ Big Kid School and we made it.

Out of the kindness of my heart, I forwarded the email to the Bio just to be sure he knew it was coming. And with the past event absences, I figured he wouldn’t come to this one either. That is the part that sucks. I have no hope that he will drag his ass out of bed and show up. The last few morning pickups he’s been asleep at 7.30am when he’s supposed to be at our door. While I know he has every right as a father to be  a part of his child’s life, I just don’t appreciate the haphazardness with which he goes about it.

I know I can always count on my Mom to show and my Dad when he can be there and my sister and her hubby would be there if they could but, I have never counted on anyone else that wasn’t family. True Facts. Never.

LAst night I mentioned to the Boyfriend that the awards thing was happening and Monkey might be getting an award, but they don’t tell you that stuff in advance. And knowing the Boyfriend had a busy morning of meeting, I didn’t put my hopes in a glass jar.  It usually gets cracked open and then my hopes are all over the damn floor and crap I had cleaning up my own messes. The Boyfriend showed up. I got a text at 10.58am from the Boyfriend… “here”.

That’s right, he showed up. Showed up not for me and not because he felt he had to but because he and the Monkey have something special. Together they make up some sort of elite Fraternity of Dudes who have experienced something unique and amazing.  They are the product of single Mama homes with women who refused to become victims of any circumstance. There was a determination to be better than our broken counterparts. And by chance we managed to find men who wanted to be a part of the action. And the Boyfriend showing up today opened up my whole heart to him for serious.

People in general are not perfect. I know that. But when someone does something that isn’t in the playbook of life as an expectation and it’s a game change then I just can’t help but pee myself with joy. I’ve taught myself that expectations are like assumptions. When you set them too high for even Superman to reach then everyone ends up feeling like an ass.

I expect good things for me and the Boyfriend, and I don’t think that’s too much.


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