Sometimes the female mind makes my own head hurt. This morning I had a conversation with a mutual-ish friend of mine and Nomad’s who we know for reasons I will not disclose here cause she reads this crap. Sorry. But we began with the courtesy chatter that two people share when they haven’t talked in like ions. Then she went into a good thirty minute GTalk rant about how her current boyfriend is a jerk and doesn’t think they are going to make it through the holidays.Ugh.
Here’s the thing…
The holidays tended to either be filled with joyous times for couples or catastrophe for those who realize they aren’t cut out for relationship bliss. The pressure of the holidays can be too much for some couples. It’s really like the iceberg that took out the Titanic. You know, you see it coming but it’s just too late to do anything about the ship sinking. My thinking is that if you enter into the holidays with the feeling that you relationship will not see the other side then you might as well start prepping the life boats. I have had plenty of dating excursions end prior to the holidays. Many because I couldn’t imagine buying a gift for the person. And by that I mean I had no clue what I would get them and had no idea what would be a good gift, so at that point it was like I don’t know you. Done. Not wasting gifting thoughts.
Harsh? Most likely everyone will think so but seriously gifting for me is related to feelings of inspiration. If you are coming up on the holidays and not seeing inspiration from the person laying next to you then sadly it’s just not there. So this sort-of-person-I-know was looking for me to commiserate with her on how awful our boyfriends are and well, I just couldn’t go there. My advice to her? Stop pretending the relationship is going somewhere and either end or stop complaining about the dude. Seriously, don’t people see the problem with relationships that they constantly complain about? How can that be anything but a non-starter?
Certainly, all relationships have their points of issue. Definitely not everyone gets along all of the time. Absolutely, people in general are not always going to find peace in every moment of every day. But seriously, if you have nothing good to say about your partner then it is time to kick rocks. Beating a dead horse is more fun than staying in a relationship where you are looking for excuses to leave someone out of your plans for the weekend. Serious.
I love helping people and giving advice and being the dating go-to girl for many of my people. But, sometimes it’s like the writing is on the dang wall. So just read it my friends. But until then I’m here to keep reminding everyone of the true facts.