I don’t hate this guy…


At 1am the other night, my phone rang and I fumbled for the phone only to see it was Nomad. At 4am his time he was calling me. And my brain jumped up and woke with the thought that either Mr. C was worse or Nomad was drunk and wanted to chat about how awesome he is.

It was neither.

Friendship is tricky. Our friendship is tricky. Sometimes we love each other, but most of the time we don’t know if we like each other. I think it stems from the fact that we jumped the shark last summer or whenever it was but in spite of it we still find ways to need each other when we least expect it. The other night he needed a voice of reason. He needed the Mama to explain to him why our friend is going through this awful thing called Cancer. Often times because I am the only girl in a group of four guys, I am the nurturing one that everyone turns to for advice that only a woman can give. I like that job. I love knowing that when they call me it’s cause they already know the answer and they just need to hear it from someone else.

Nomad and I have had tough times since last years summer and then my recent drunk dating escapades before the Boyfriend. But with new relationships blossoming things between us seem to be returning back to normal. I like that.

Our chatter revolved around the epic fail that is Cancer. Then the Boyfriend. Then the Girlfriend. And then the ‘L Word’ that appeared in a recent blog post of mine. Our group of friends is one who is not fond of just throwing that word around and the weight of it means fathoms more than just liking someone. I don’t ‘L Word’ someone unless I know it from the tips of my toes to the top of my noggin. All of us are like that. Then the real reason for the phone call came out…

I don’t hate this guy.

Not that I needed Nomad’s approval but for him this was a huge step. Without meeting most of the guys I date Nomad, RJ and the Captain generally hate everyone. Mr. C is more forgiving of my dating foul-ups but the rest of the boys are not. They don’t keep quiet at all. But the consensus appears to be in the Boyfriend’s favor and it felt good to hear that my friends aren’t judging from their various parts of the country.They see things I don’t. They hear things in my voice I don’t hear. They stalk me on Twitter and Facebook to make sure all is well.

They know me. They know that over the last few years I have been struggling with dating someone who isn’t like the Bio. Finding a match that doesn’t possess the qualities of a classic manipulator. Being with someone who can embrace me and my quirks (yes, I am quirky damn it). Knowing that I don’t have to settle for someone just because they are sorta what I’m looking for in a man.

Honestly, coming to the realization that the boys in my life won’t always be the main focus is tough I think for all of us. We struggle to keep in touch. We make efforts to plan trips to see each other. But as we get older and settle down and into routines it’s tougher and tougher. Nomad and I have been through tons together over the last few years, he has seen me through some tough times, and now we are both happy in places in our lives we could not have dreamed up. But our friendship has mended itself like I hoped it would. Finally.

Friendship is tricky. But without it who would challenge us to be the best person we are capable of being? I adore my friends. Even when they call me at 1am.


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