“You would have of thought by now, I’d have learned something” -Sara Bareilles, Many the Miles
Last week one of my dearest friends lost her life while she slept. Her girlfriend found her the following morning when she came home from a business trip. According to coroner reports she died of natural causes with a bunch of definitions about something happening in her brain that made me collapse and thank someone for my Mom still being here today.
The worst part is not losing my Lady L. The worst part is not her leaving us before she made it to 35 when she said she would adopt a child who needed a Mom. The worst part is not looking at her girlfriend and seeing the utter desperation this has caused in a very strong and simply amazing human being. The worst part has been dealing with the people who she so sadly always referred to as her biological family. And no, Lady was not adopted.
My Lady left home when she was eighteen years old and moved to Hollywood to pursue dancing and after some struggles she settled nicely into teaching ballet classes on the Westside and spending her weekend nights at a high end Gentlemen’s club, no not a strip club this place had dress code and shit and is consequently where we met. No, I wasn’t a performer. Although it did cross my mind. *sigh* Because of her life choices her family disowned her. They erased her from their family tree. They all pretended she didn’t exist. Her brothers and sisters got married and had babies and she was not allowed to communicate with any of them. Ever. She would tell me stories of how her Mom would hang up on her and how her Dad threatened to have a restraining order put out against her when she tried to visit her younger sister at college. Shitty.
As it turns out we have had encountered how amazingly unattached her entire family truly is when it comes to Lady L. Her father could have cared less. Her mother refused to return emails and forwarded us to her attorney. Her brother finally called us and explained the body would be released to the city of Los Angeles for disposal until we convinced him that we wanted to do something for our girl. We finally won. We battled against judgement and we fucking won. Her memory will be respected even they pretend she doesn’t exist.
The most painful part of this loss is that a beautiful human being has left this world and the one’s that are left are those who are filled with hate and judgement for one of their own.
Lady L taught me things that I will forever cherish. She has always been the only woman in my life who I have trusted with all parts of who I am. I will miss her for the rest of my days.