Alright so you knew this blog post was coming if you follow me on the Twitter and/or share an office with me or visit my office during the day like Mr. Awesome.
As I was checking followers this morning to make sure I was doing my duty of keeping up with any new followers, I found something disconcerting. Mr. S is now following me on the Twitter. That’s right, months after he dumped me over the phone, he is now following both of my Twitter accounts. I don’t get it at all. Why on earth would he feel like need to follow me on Twitter? You can’t date me or be my friend, but you can keep tabs on me by following my stream? It is one thing to stalk me and not follow me. Fine at least it’s not right there for me to see and question.
After a quick Twitter Poll, the consensus was that no one would bother following an Ex that they dumped in a horrible way. Or someone that they dated and the relationship ended on bad terms. Seriously, if we didn’t end on bad terms than I am totally dumbtarded about this kind of stuff. While the anger has subsided I can’t help but wonder, what the fuck?
I didn’t really write about the night I got the call. It seemed like something I needed to keep to myself. It felt like those details were just mine. But now, it seems like it doesn’t matter. He called me. He told me I wanted it more than he did. He told me he was in love with his Ex still. I spent twenty-four hours crying. I spent the night with Nomad who kept me feeling solid. I GTalked with Switzer who helped me see that this was not a loss. What I found out once it was done was that he lied to me. Frequently. About everything. And that is never okay. Ever.
I’m not going to lie there is still heaps of anger. He hurt me twice and the last time was the last time I will let him in my heart or anywhere near me physically, mentally or emotionally. I am angry that it took me a second time to see that he was nothing more than a lying sack with not moral compass.
And now, I’m done with it. Let him follow me. Let him read my blog. Let him see what I’m doing without him. But I will not let him break me ever again.