the Waiting End Game

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Waiting.

We do it all the time, for various reasons. Food,laundry, bathrooms…waiting is just a part of life. Right?But how many times has anyone of uswaited for someone to available to be in our lives? Not like that passive aggressive waiting for someone to break up with someone who is obviously wrong for them, but of course some day without prompting they will see how terrible their relationship is and fall madly in love with us. (oops, detour…my bad)

Why, oh why is this onmy mind? Last night I had aconversation with Mr. S that left mepondering the whole waiting game we create within the dating world.

I am a woman who hasgrown up to knowthat if you want anything done right you have to do it yourself and this goes for all areas of life. *wink*wink* So since I decided to hold offon engaging in one-on-one activities with anyone for the duration of this waiting period, I’ve taken many matters into my own hands (pun intended). And because over the last few years I have grown into this woman I appreciate it so much when a man-person can tell me how they feel and/or what they want/expect out of a burgeoning relationship of any kind. Just tell me. Please. That’s all I ask.

Why is this such a biggie? I used to be a waiter of enormous proportions. The kind of waiter that sat around and hoped for change without action. Okay well mostly when I was with the Bio but prior to that I was a make your own destiny kind of person and that girl is back and she’s all growns up! Chatting about my history with Nomad’s Sister whom we will call Chastity henceforth has got me thinking about the attitude with which I used to live my daily adventures. My heart was positioned safely away from the masses and life was mine. That is how I live today but without all the umm, suitors? Sure that’s what they were. No more leaping into the path of some random guy to make me feel complete and no more waiting for some guy to complete me. I am complete as I is and that’s that. Praise be to Jeebus.

Okay, so waiting? Am I waiting? Nope, not waiting. I could be with someone if I wanted to be. And I heart Nomad for sticking in my life to be my friend. But my heart is feeling like it belongs somewhere else and that’s where the whole concept of waiting comes into play. This in a sense is my own call to action. A challenge to be open to the possibility that there is someone who has the ability to compliment this life I have built. What if Mr. S is not that person? It’s really a risk I have to take for me and that feels good.

I will never again wait for a man to complete me. I will never again be the girl who hopes someone sees how awesome I am. I will never be the girl who hopes and prays for changes. She’s done. I will be the woman who chooses to make the changes that make things happen.

Done.

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