Wading through It.


So, yeah it’s Tuesday and I had a great weekend…the delay is brought to you by my ridiculous project that has me climbing up walls daily…just ask Rachel.

Saturday started out with angst and the road of depression seemed paved with malintentions (not a real word but I like it). The Monkey got picked up and while I was sure Mr. Nomad and I would hook up for drinks later that night, I had no desire to do anything. You see I’m struggling to keep my head above water these days with the change in Child Support and adjusting the budget has taken some interesting turns with all the the Monkey requires for maintenance. But, I’ve done it before so I can do it again…and with my families help I will for sure swim out of this one no worse for wear. But when you’re in the thick of it and experiencing the tides changing, it is hard to see past those moments. Bleh.

Halfway through laundry I chose to jaunt down to the pool for some Vitamin D therapy and since my pool is never busy, I was sure I’d be able to wallow in my own self pity. Wrong! I don’t know many of my neighbors but there are a few who are friendly and I’ve made nice with and who stop for idle chit-chat with me. And there were a couple whom I’ve chatted with about the Monkey absorbing the rays of the sun I hoped would heal my angst. As we said our greetings I noticed a more than HOT man sitting at the picnic table next to them and began to figit and act like the true dork I am. We exchanged glances and for those of you who follow me on the Twitters, he waved at me and said Hello. So, yeah I am in smitmy neighbor’s son and I think if I play it cool he might eventually be hanging out with them and then be single and ask me out. Too much to hope for at this point? Neh, I’m all about hope. (read that as sarcasm)

The rest of the day I spent on the verge of tears…texting with Mr. Nomad. Almost cancelling plans to have him drive up here and hang out and then my Mama called me. My parents dragged me out for dinner…they know me. They know the face I put when well, faced with adversity and how I function during it. I’m my Dad’s kiddo. I shut down. I shut out. I shut up. It’s how I roll. Dinner was great. Once I got past the first moments of feeling like I was going to cry, I was able to have a super duper time with my folks who do everything they can to protect and encourage me to do what I know is best, but they also know how to pull me out of the clouds and back on to the ground. Things aren’t always going to be like this and I will survive (insert kitchy singing of lyrics).

So, after time with my folks I went home to finish laundry and make my house look like people live there and care…Mr. Nomad came by late in the evening and we went for a walk around the ‘hood. He grew up here. He knows it better than I do, for sure and knows me better than I care to admit. He wouldn’t let me slide out of where we were and back into my funk. We talked about everything…Mr. Awesome, work, my relatively silly panic about cash-money, my friends, our friends that we share and our families. We got several texts each from Mr. C to check up on us, and we agreed that we are good friends. We could be much more given the right timing and the effort, but his job is never going to keep him in one place for more than a few months at a time. Will we date? Eh, why not. I’ve got nothing else going on and what is the harm in dating someone you really do appreciate for more than just their killer way of explaining what is already in your head. He’s in the area for another month…so, yeah I’m gonna go there for now.

But, I’ve been directed by Mr. Nomad to date other people if it comes up. Which I struggled with the rest of the night but I get it. I need to see what’s out there and make sure I can handle late night phone calls and random visits when he’s on the road.

In other news, I jumped back on a few dating sites…shoot me, I was bored. And, I met a nice guy (East Coast transplant) and will let you know how it goes once we actually talk later this week. *sigh*

Here we go again…


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