Great Love?


For lack of a better thing to do once the Monkey has gone to bed on a Saturday night, I’m watching Sex and the City…I used to love this as ashow. But in the early days when they had that blessed commentary from strangers on the street, you know like what they tried to do in He’s Just Not That Into You.

I digress.

In one episode they had a whole discussion on Great Loves…how many do you get, how many did Carrie get and Charlotte was a firm believer you got ONE GREAT LOVE. (okay, she ended up saying two) So while watching the infinite heartaches of Ms. Bradshaw I can’t help but giggle just a little bit.

Mr. P and I used to watch the show together and heused to muse over which one of Carrie’s men he was to me. And desperately, he wanted to be someones Mr. Big. Someone who no matter how much pain and turmoil there was between two people they chose to be together in the end. Oddly enough I think we all knew Carrie and Big would end up together…right? At that point in my life I wasn’t sure I ever wanted there to be someone in my life who I chased and let hurt me only to finally have them realize how desperately in Love with me they were. Friends teased that the Bio was my Big. And I will firmly say, Hells No! But this post is not about him…

Would I ever want someone to put me through what Big put Carrie through? Umm, she waited ten years to finally get the Man to admit he loved her! And then he left her at the alter!? I’m confused how that is the least bit romantic. Am I wrong?

Let’s get back to the concept of Great Loves. How many do we get? I don’t know that I believe that there is one person who is meant to be the only Great Love we have in our entire life. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever had a Great Love and maybe that is why I don’t understand the concept. I’ve been in love with one person. I’ve loved three people. But, Great Love? Nope. Nothing like I’ve heard people talk about. Not one person has enveloped my entire being and made the street stop when they were near. I think I’ve thought I had at some point but I haven’t. There has been no Big Love if you will. And yet every person I felt Love for has taught me something about the act of loving and given me something to carry forward in my journey.

I’m okay with that right now, but ask me after a glass or two of wine and I might say different.

Is it possible it doesn’t exist? You know I wonder only because I have seen people who were wholly and desperately in Love with someone lose their entire world in a flash. Divorce happens. People spend lifetimesmaking a home with someone only tohave one or both change their minds and leave. How does Love let that happen? How on earthdo we find that Great one?And does the greatness of it make it last any longer than those who are just mediocre?

I’m testing myself here you see.

My best friend, Mr. C is a firm believer in the whole Great Love concept. He and his wife were set up by none other than yours truly after he saw her sitting on my dorm room couch and went all numb in the noggin. They have been together for nine years and married for almost five. They have two beautiful kiddos and a relationship that baffles the mind. There is love in every single moment no matter what it is. Life, death, birth, depression…they do it together and with love and admiration for each other as people. That to me is Great Love…not the kind that tears you down and make you question who you are and what the Hell you’re doing. It’s the kind of Love the nurtures two people to grow together into something extraordinary.

That kind of love I have never experienced. Close but no cigar, I’m afraid. And yes I love a good cigar.

With all the relationship experience I’ve hadto this day I’m not any less optimistic that somewhere in the world there is a person who will Love me no matter how ridiculous I happen to be or how emo I get or how many times I change outfits before we go out or how cute I don’t look puking my guts up…but, will that Man be my Great Love? I guess this girl’s got a little hope in her after all…but, it’s running short these days.

So, any Great Love experiences to share? Or thoughts on the topic?


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