I’ve been on the phone now with MK for like 30 minutes…

I’m exhausted. I’ve been doing my best not to let the bruising from this afternoon ruin my whole Saturday and now I’m crying again. I thought MK was gone. I figured not hearing from him meant it was done. Honestly, what girl wouldn’t think that at this point? It’s been two weeks and one text. One text that I thought signaled his decision to keep seeing me. But I’ve been wrong before. Right? For shizzle I’ve been wrong tons…today is a huge example to that. Ugh.

MK came up here after reading about the Crush and worrying that he would lose me to someone else. Really? Can you really lose someone you don’t really have? Can you lose someone you don’t keep in touch with remotely? Umm, I’m pretty sure that’s a NO. I don’t want a reactionary type relationship with anyone. I had that with the Bio…it was damaging. All we ever did was react to each other and it ended up killing us.

I don’t want to see him…I’m a mess right now. I’m so tired of feeling like I don’t fit anywhere. Every time I put Me out there it smacks me in the face at some point. I’m so done with that feeling.

My Faith is strong but my patience is thinning daily.