This morning I’m thinking about being the world (okay local) traveler that I have become just in a few short weeks. I’ve been all over Southern Cali in the last few months and now up North and all for work. Yes, work. My job takes me to see my clients wherever the job requires me. I love my job and everything I’ve learned. If it wasn’t for this job and my new career (?) path I wouldn’t be able to give the Monkey the things he has today…new (rented) casa, clothes. toys and security. Big. Huge. Enormously all important for our little family.

How did I get here? A little project called CalWorks…that’s right I was on aid at one point. Why? Am I recovering lazy bum who finally got her shit together? Nah, I actually could go into my sob story but really it doesn’t make me sob anymore. Why am I thinking about this at all? Well the Govenator is thinking of swiping his massive guns across this little program and take it away from Mom’s and Dad’s like me who need just a little help to get back to good. Not to mention take away some big help for Home Care people and thus killing tons of jobs across our state. And well I’m fairly ticked about the whole prospect of people not only losing jobs but the meager assistance offered to people like me who had tough time getting back in the saddle after losing everything they knew is a pretty huge thing.

Okay, so it went like this…the Monkey was almost 9 weeks early. The Monkey came home after 7 weeks in the NICU and needed round the clock care from someone who was either Me or a very expensive caregiver. So I jumped on the aid wagon while I couldn’t work and couldn’t provide funds for the Monkey on a regular basis. But CalWorks helped me get back in the workforce after being absent for almost a year and even helped me regain some of the respect I lost for myself post-break in the norm of my relationship with the Bio. I got help. I got a second chance at Me. I got the chance to give my baby a life.

I know we hear stories about people abusing the system and having kids just to milk it for all it’s worth. But without a program in place with such strict rules that even I couldn’t figure out how people get away with that kind of stuff what will happen? Will there be bigger chances for abuse and rampant neglect? I worry about this stuff. I wonder who will show my fellow Mom’s who have no clue how to get help and get back to good. I wonder what the Govenator thinks will happen once programs like these are gone? Will there be anything left that shows people how to get back up and moving? Will there be a program with time lines that guides you through it without letting you take advantage of the system like so many used to do? I’m fearful that the Govenator’s team has not thought this one through again. He’ll leave office soon and leave us with another Huge mess…and that’s okay right? Meh, it happens all the time…

I’m not very political and I don’t usually preach about this stuff, but I do feel very strongly about the dismantling of programs that help those who can’t help themselves to get back in the swing of life. It’s hard when your life is trounced on and left for zilch. It’s tough when you’re a person who is used to living on your own and you’ve got nothing. Sometimes we need care. Sometimes we need a smidgen of help. Sometimes we just need information and for me that’s what I found in that little program.

I just hope there is something for women, men, children, families that can fill that void in the future…that can guide and help a Mama like me see that light at the end of the tunnel.