Well we’ve covered the co-worker crush with great insight into the thought process and how it really, probably isn’t a good idea…right? Sure, whatever. Believe or not…okay so yeah, I’m still the German in the desk opposite me but eh, it’s a pipe dream. But what about when you start crushin’ on a friend. Not like somebody you chill with every once in a while but someone you’ve bonded with…and NO Rachel I don’t mean you. (Haha, you know you were thinking it) A friend who has felt your misery and knows your pain. Someone who out of nowhere one day with no without any previous clues you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach or chest or whatever you get that inkling…and then it leaves you spinning.
It happened yesterday. Out of nowhere. I got that odd feeling like lighter trying to spark in the friggin’ wind. (shoot me, I have issues with my lack of nicotine on certain days and my analogies often fall into that realm). That repetitive nagging at my brain that lurks around when you can’t get a straight answer from yourself.
Umm, crushin’ on my friend? Suddenly its bizarre. This guy and yes it’s a guy is attractive now when he wasn’t before. Is it some kind of sudden desperation? Am I just that tired of losers and knowing that this guy is one of the good ones that I’m now seeing his prospective awesome-ness? There’s a deluge of questions to go along with the whole new found attraction. And yet it begs the question, what’s the point? With as awkward as it would be to date a co-worker then wouldn’t it be equally so with a friend? Someone you depend on for advice and to be that logical brain to pick when push comes to shove. This guy for me has been a kind of rock in my deep and dark dealings with the Bio and I totally heart him in friendly ways. But now will that change??? Not sure for sure.
Ugh. I’m not going to spend the whole weekend deciding if this makes sense. A person can have a crush on someone without acting on it, right? Okay, I know this is me we’re talking about but I’m gonna have to just let this settle over the weekend and simmer on it. Any words of friendly wisdom are welcome!