Sola Fide

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According to Wikipedia…Sola Fida: The doctrine of sola fide or “by faith alone” asserts God’s pardon for guilty sinners is granted to and received through faith or belief alone, to the exclusion of all human efforts or works.

Read the rest of the intelli stuff here…then come back here! Just kidding.

So what’s with the whole faith thing? Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about that and had a great convo today with Rachel about it. Then I realized the ring I started wearing again after several years says, fide. My Mom gave it to me when I left for college. I went to a Catholic College after two years at the local J.C. and really only went there because I was shocked I got in after two years of wasting time and not knowing what to be when I grew up. She was proud. She had faith in me to accomplish my goals, to build my own dreams for me.

Why start wearing the ring? Actually I was cleaning out old boxes from when I lived with Mr. P the Porno Addict and found it in an old IKEA jewelry box. Tucked away from the world and hidden for the lastseven years without sunshine or a finger to wear it on. *sigh* When I put it in my jewelry bowl on my bathroom vanity, I didn’t think I’d actually wear it. But the other day I grabbed it and have worn it all week. Is this a sign of something bigger? Does it have anything to do with Mr. P coming back into my life again via Skype?

I don’t think so.

To be honest I think it just means one thing…I’m solid. Not like hefty…well not yet anyway, but I’m good with me. I’ve got faith in this lady. Seven years ago not so much. I had bleached blonde hair. I wore way too much black eyeliner and my Doc Martens went with everything. I like that girl, for sure. But did I have faith in her choices. Not a snowball’s chance in hell, my friend!! She was volatile and moody. She picked men based on their haircuts and vintage shirt choices. She smoked and drank coffee for meals (okay sometimes I still do the coffee thing **looks at coffee mug and sighs**). She was a disaster. She was 22.

Faith is something bigger than a book with stories of Man and his simple journey to save us. Don’t get me wrong I’ve read ‘THE BOOK’ dozens of time. I was Baptized and Confirmed and even take part in my Church every now and then and I believe in something. But on my terms. I believe that this life is my choice. This world I live in is based on choices I have made and that my Higher Power has faith in me too. He/She has given me the power to choose and to make this life what I want out of it. Whether it’s standing in line to make out with a Rockstar or Walking my Monkey to the park for a playdate. It’s up to me to make it good or bad or in between.

Personally, I think the journey is what defines the belief in the end. My Mom had a cousin who was a Priest and he told her that G*d doesn’t just hear you when you are kneeling in a Church. And that is something I remember in moments when I feel like the end is nigh…no I don’t drop down to my knees and pray…but I find a quiet moment in my own head and talk to that Higher Power. Honest and open. No holds barred talk. Like when my Mom was post-op on the whole tumor thing…I told that ‘HP’ that I thought he was an asshole for doing that to my Mom and to give me one good reason why this should be happening. It took me a couple days, but I got it. And no I didn’t fall to the floor and thank anyone for saving her, but I learned that my life is full of challenges and this was not a wall…just an obstacle. We have climbed over it and now as a family we’re good. We’re better for the journey.

As human beings we grow from our challenges. Our journeys show us who we are inside. Our choices are who we are at that moment but it doesn’t mean we can’t learn from them in the future..

Sola Fide.

By faith alone I have survived some pretty wicked experiences. Some I talk about and some I don’t. But again this lady has made that path what it is…

What gives you faith???

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