Let the Over-Thinking Begin!!!

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I’ve been pondering a lot of things this morning while sitting here in my secret location for work and have begun over-thinking Mr. MK…yup, already! Good work, Mama. At this point my biggest worry is that well really my life is consumed by making it on my own. I’ve lived my entire life by living with someone, whether it’s a guy or my parents or a friend for a short time. To be honest, I’ve never been on my own as a grown-up and it’s kind of refreshing. I adore my own space and well all the pain that goes with keeping it mine. Not that we’re going to get married tomorrow or next week or anytime soon, BUT I can’t help it. This is the stuff that drives me bonkers…like daily.

While re-examining the things about Mr. MK that kind of create a smidgen of apprehension and while many would think I’m foolish for letting it worry me, I think it really goes back to my independence. I was raised by a woman who even though she was married (and still is) to my Dad stood on her own two feet and kept up with whatever needed to be done. My family is a pack of survivors who overcome at any expense. It’s how we function. The whole do it yourself because no one can do it better type of attitude. I’ve gotten mine back and I find it works pretty well for me. I mean kinda. Alright it does invoke the whole ‘keep’em at arms length type of thinking’…but whatever.

Now back to Mr. MK…he’s got money. Not just made it for himself, but he was raised with it. Much more comfy then I’ve ever been on my own or with a guy. Especially the Bio that’s for sure. He has stuff. The kind of stuff that you think about when you think about young rich suburban types…honestly it made me think of that show on MTV years ago, The Real OC and I laughed in my head a bit. He grew up in Orange County (the evil nemesis of LA where I grew up) and he loves it. His Dad works in Marketing and Advertising and has forever and is just now retiring. His Mom was a SAHM and raised him and his three older sisters while working sometimes from home doing editing for some book publisher. He studied Art History at NYU and did two semesters abroad in Italy. He buys art. He works for himself mostly, but his business is all through word of mouth from previous jobs or design teams he’s worked with and he knows his stuff. His work takes him all over the US and sometimes abroad and he’s got a successful business buying art of other people andthat lets him spend quality time with his little girl. AND he doesn’t have a realhonestbad thing to say about his Ex-wife other than she just makes poor life choices sometimes…and that was it…major points for him there.Awesome. So why does all this make me think and think and think? I’m not rich. Sorta comfy and managing to get by with what I make and what I have and somehow saving money for the Monkey for when he gets old enough to choose college or tech school or whatever will make him feel like a fulfilled grown-up. I’m really just getting by. Extras don’t really figure into my life, right now. The Monkey and I get away when we can and I keep it interesting with night’s out when I can but I’m not in the market for a second home or boat or RV or anything. Crap I’m lucky I’ve got a roof over my head and thankful for the support from my parents that got me here today.

The point? How do these two worlds mesh? How do I get comfy with a guy who could buy himself a new house on a whim when I have to budget down to the last dollar? He’s not one of those well-off people who appears like he’s got the cash around in pillowcases or in some kind of vault in the basement. (I know we don’t have basements in Cali) He showed up last night in jeans (yummy) and a t-shirt with a hoodie on and of course I noted the Chuck Taylor’s in Blue (my favorite color). He’s an average Joe. He’s a beer guy. He’s ridiculously good with music choices and can rock a comic book discussion. Very HOT. He knows what I mean whenI say ‘the spiritual movement in art at the turn of the century was a symptom of lost connection with Church and State and the desperation felt by the masses’. I can say smart shiz and he doesn’t balk at my need for upgraded talk. He gets it. He’s craving it too. Okay I think I just answered my own questions…Yay, for blogging it out!!!

My heart is in this kind of cage thingy right now. I’m playing it safe. I mean if we only see each other every two weeks, it’s going to be tough. It’s going to be a challenge. But I guess more Wednesday night with Rachel at Mojito’s!! At least until we feel comfy with bringing the kiddos in the picture and that could take a bit considering the getting to know each other process is sort of slowed down. UGH. I have no patience.

Taking it from here…he’s hoping to make up to my area in two weeks and stay around locally to spend time with me. He even asked me to show him around the area cause he’s never really been around it for more than a quick pass through on his way up North. So, I’m not going to kill myself over-thinking this one. (Haha, that almost sounded like the truth!) I’m going to let it happen…right?

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