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PSA: Tech Stalking is not Pretty

A recent post by my dear fellow dating Blogger The Urban Dater about the lunacy that drives some women to text men endlessly and literally kill a relationship before one exists, got me to thinking about how some of my female friends even abuse such mediums as email and dating sites to harass men endlessly for answers. It made me giggle because shortly after a friend texted me that she hadn’t heard from a Dude she’d been communicating with for 24 hours (like a lifetime right?) and in the 12 hours of night while she slept, he didn’t respond to her last email. Alright, so it happens all over the world of dating. We (by WE I mean Woman’s)do it all the time. I’ve even had the thought that maybe ONE last email will make the Object want me…cause maybe he forgot about me, right? Well, shit if he forgot about me than he just wasn’t thinking about me and therefore, not interested. End of story. Right?

Then it happened to me last night. No, I didn’t randomly text a Dude to see if he wanted me still. I got a message from Mr. New Guy. Now I was pretty clear in my last few texts to him post-date that I was just not feeling IT with him and wished him luck with his dating life. And I thought it was left at that. But it has turned into an email on OKCasking me to clarify WHY I didn’t feel IT with him. I didn’t feel I needed to respond to it because honestly, do I owe him any explanation? We’re grown ups. We date. I’ve dated a few guys who’ve told me that IT just wasn’t there and you move on…albeit after a few pints of Cold Stone and a good bottle of wine, but you pick it up and move on. No harm for the long-term and no Foul for being ubber honest and upfront. I dig it when a guy is clearly able to tell me that he’s just not into me or he’s not looking for the same things I am. It’s easier. Less investment and less fuss. Oh and less ice cream consumed post-news breaking. So last night when Mr. New Guy hunted me down on Yahoo! IM and messaged me relentlessly for an hour to get a response. He moved from the very straight forward to the accusations that I ‘teased’ him during our ONE date into believing I liked him. He was also pretty sure we were going to kiss and that meant I liked him. (we didn’t kiss BTW) Finally I had to Block him. I would list all the messages but after I blocked him I couldn’t view them all…

Holy Hot Kats, REALLY?
I thought about not responding at all. Then something pulled at my heart-strings and I sent him a simple response…It just isn’t going to work and now you’ve sealed that deal. Please leave me alone.

It’s amazing to me when guys do this. I mean even Mr. Disclaimer had his moments. If we all remember he emailed my BFF on POF to check up on me and see if she still wanted to meet his friend. So it happens to everyone. The freakish panic attack stricken texting, emailing and phone calling does not discriminate. It’s universal problem for all of Man and Woman-kind.

As a sort of Public Service to all my fellow daters and friends, before you send that pleading text or that ‘follow-up’ email think about it. If they haven’t called, texted or sent you a Pigeon carried message they are probably not going to EVER.

To quote my co-worker Mr. BBG, ‘His answer is in his response and if there is no response then there you go’. So I leave you with the words and some wisdom and then some music…


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