Back in the saddle…
I will not even summarize my last date and the drama that ensued over it…pointless. Don’t even read about it unless you want a good laugh at how some guy’s just don’t know how to respond to honesty. Oh and a girl with a life. Bah.
I’ve decided to throw caution to the wind. Even when the nagging voice in my brain starts to yank me away from a profile because of distance or circumstance I contact the Object anyway. Yes, I just referred to the men of POF and OKC as Objects. Given my post on the Order of Operations, it seems appropriate that I call them the Objects of my desire. Eh, it’s a loose excuse but let’s go with it for now.
So I contacted one guy for the simple fact he had a ‘Disclaimer’ on his profile…and once I get his permission I will share the whole thing but for the most part it was in reference to all the bad dates he has experienced during his time on POF. What?!? Guys have bad dates?!? Weird but yes it happens. And this gave me some great food for thought. I’ve had recent dates with Men-kind who have not shared about losing major weight versus the picture on-line, the guy who forgot to mention he had a beard in real-life for his pilgrimage to Burning Man and well, I could go on and on…
So this got me to thinking…every time I don’t hear from a guy after the 1st date, and no this doesn’t happen often, is it because I was not what they expected? Or because we didn’t gel? And not because they are giant selfish douche bag’s with no class? Or maybe a bit of both? Eh, it remains to be seen. But with information comes perspective and the sharing last night got me to thinking…this plight is not just that of the woman folk.
Mr. Disclaimer as he will henceforth be known as we begin our journey of getting to know each other had some salacious stories about dating mishaps and disappointments. I must admit we had a great time sharing our misadventures over the phone…so much so I even almost cried. And yes we laughed at all the crap that people throw in their profiles to try to snag the attention of their own Object. What really shocked me was how I’d never had this conversation with other Men who’d been so affected by the misuse of a Hot cousin’s picture or the sudden change in verbal skills to some form of jacked up slang. I’ve never heard a guy express how truly these experiences had impacted his dating life. And he’s come up with a formula…I kid you not! A set of questions to decode our woman speak and get down to brass taxes…and all over email. Of course I shared my lack of faith in just a few questions giving him enough insight into the real person behind the pic of the girl with the giant hair…ha! You thought I’d say Lips! Ha.
So we went over and over the question and answer emails we exchanged over the last few days…
- What do you think your 2 best and 2 worst physical qualities are?
- How about your 2 best and 2 worst personality traits?
- Favorite drink? Doesn’t matter what kind alcohol or not.
…so I thought about this for a bit while we chatted…and I got his point. A woman who likes herself won’t point out that she has giant breasts if they are blatantly visible in her profile pics. Nor will she deny answering the questions if she’s really secure in the fact that she’s got best and worst physical qualities and is really okay with them. Apparently, I came off self-loving (dirty girl) and he liked my answers off the bat…because I picked honest attributes and not something I thought he wanted to hear. That’s just not me. I want someone to love and adore this girlie for all her strangeness.
I think it’s true dating is about finding what fits you. Like looking for the illusive great pair of jeans. You can try on 100 pairs in a day of feverish shopping and still not find the right one.
Every time I do this thing over and over again, I discover something new about me and what I am willing to compromise or stick firm on. I like Mr. Disclaimer’s honesty and ability to have a life of his own…oh and he’s a giant. But all-in-all I like that he’s showing me a new side to this dating junk that is enlightening my previous beliefs that all men do is line up dates and knock’em out. Okay well maybe most men do. Ugh. Pessimist Walking.