Home Mom Stuff Co-Parenting the Cleaner Averts Costume Crisis

the Cleaner Averts Costume Crisis


The email sent at Midnight by the Bio on Thursday night Post-Swing Shift warning me that he was taking the Monkey to get his Halloween costume made my Friday morning ‘ugh’ worthy…but, not freak out worthy.

So much for our attempts to do things together.

But I called once I got the email at 8.30am. Remained calm and asked if we could go together to get the Monkey’s Halloween costume after Tae Kwon Do on Saturday? The answer…We already got it.

My heart sunk.

For me Halloween is like the frosting on the end of my Year Cake. My day of birth is 9 days before and as a kiddo I always felt like it was celebrating me. Halloween is special for me and I wanted it to be like that for the Monkey. Not just cliche and silly but really about using your imagination and harnessing it through creativity. Being a part of something intoxicating and full of wonder…that’s Halloween to me. But, I’m a Big Girl with a Little Boy for an Ex and I knew this way before. So I suck it up for my son. This can still be magic made at home with decorations and party fun…no big deal. (Words I know I say more than I care to).

Even being the bigger person I could not get past what I came home to Friday after work. My Monkey sulking because the Bio wouldn’t let him bring home his Batman costume. It broke my heart and every ounce of my overreacting body wanted to grab the phone and rip the Bio a new one. How could he not let him bring home his costume? What was he even thinking?

How do you explain to a 3-year old that his Father is selfish and silly and that it’s again NO BIG DEAL? Well you really can’t…not without scarring and confusing the crap out of this little person. Bottomline my job as the Cleaner in this dysfunctional Co-parenting Duo just keeps getting tougher and tougher. But, it is what I do and I’m getting better at it.

the Mommy solution: Mommy grabbed the Party City Flyer and the Disney Store mailer and asked the Monkey if Mommy could take him to the store Saturday to buy him a costume he could keep at home for him to use as dress up. And of course to use when we go to Mickey’s House for Trick-or-Treating. Problem Solved.

Saturday morning we spent time trying to get past the doors of two different Halloween Stores (the Monkey is grasping fear and things are now Spooky) and discovering that Target was out of smaller size costumes of any fashion. And finally went to our local mall to get lunch and make our usual stop by the Disney Store. Jackpot! The Monkey was literally overwhelmed and it was awesome to watch. Finally after much debate we left with a Buzz Lightyear costume.

Internally, I debated whether this was a good idea. Should I have just let him be upset all weekend? Did it matter that the Bio had a tough time rationalizing his decisions to our Monkey? Let alone explaining it in a way that he could understand without being so upset. Since I am my Mother’s child I took the road I knew would make my son happy and as a part of the very Dysfunctional Co-Parenting Duo I did what would make the most sense to a 3-year old. He splits his time between two parents (not by choice) and there is no reason he should suffer for the choices the grown-ups have made and for me it’s sad that Halloween has become one of those struggles. But it is what it is and I am a grown-up today.


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