This last Sunday marked the 1st time my Monkey has made it through a full night with the Bio in his entire life…that is to say without me being there.
I spent the entire evening watching Pawn Stars with my Dad and eating more pasta than a small Italian city. I thought about calling one of my two local friends and then made a concerted effort to mourn the change with my Dad. To be honest this change was as hard on me as it was on my own Paw (as I call my Dad) and for his own reasons. But, I saw those reasons clear as day and felt his pain when I walked into the den to see what he wanted for dinner.
My own father dealt with a terrible custody battle before I was born. Back in 1974 Father’s didn’t get as much consideration for rights and visitation as they do today, and my Dad was no exception. He left his 2nd wife after issues with her infidelity and drug abuse clouded his ability to live with and make excuses for her. And, shortly after she was magically preggers. To this day my Dad doesn’t know if my half-sister is biologically his child but because his Ex said so and put him on the Birth Certificate he stood up for the challenge.
For years, he fought for equal custody and paid more child support than he could afford and then one day, his 2nd wife told him his little girl wasn’t his and she was marrying the real father. Four years later she died of a drug overdose and in her Will my Father was named as the soul guardian and caregiver.
When I was 9 she came to live with us…but, that’s a whole other Oprah as they say.
So on this Sunday after we fought in our silent way about bills the day before we sat together and laughed at the hijinks of Las Vegas Pawn Brokers. They collect random stuff from historic pieces to small twin engine aircraft.
It felt good to have my Dad home with me. It felt good to have him stay up way past his 6.30pm bedtime and watch a mindless show and giggle and cook together.
While the Monkey had a good time and reported that it was fun to have a slumber party with his Bio, I still had to deal with the change in my own way. The time would have come sooner or later and I would have needed to find a way to drown my sorrows in my angst over it.
I’m glad it was with my Dad.