Who said I was falling anywhere near Love?

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As has been recently mused over my dating life has gone from bland to decent to moving towards really like someone and sticking to it. But, just this morning a friend of mine whom I thought I had helped decide to seek counseling with her Fiance and beau of 6 years told me she was leaving him…WOW!

These people have been a part of my life for several years…I’ve known them apart and I’ve known them as a couple. And, I thought they were amazing together. Working towards making sure both were educated and accomplished…but, somewhere the focus was lost. Somehow she feels alone and desperate. She feels like she’s the Mom in this relationship and they have no kids. My friend is supporting him while he goes to school and only works part-time for a local surf shop in Oxnard. He gets up and surfs before school and comes home after he’s checked out the swells and expects dinner on the table.

He’s living the college boy lifestyle.

And, now she’s tired. She works full-time and commutes up North from her home to make the best money. She makes his dinner and even breakfast when he is not at the beach.

I understand. I know how it feels to snap on the one person you looked to for support and guidance and see a smug moocher.

I am sad for her…but, I get it.

It makes me wonder why I bother? Why am I bothering to look for someone new? Does it matter? Should I just live the way I have been and enjoy that I have the most amazing life?

I’ve gotten attached to Mr. Faith. When out on Friday I missed seeing him for what has become our night to see each other…I even told him I missed him. To top it off I invited him to spend time with me and the family on the 4th.

Could I be finding my way back to love? Back to the place I never thought I’d go?

All I know is that I want to feel something. What that is I don’t really know. All I know is I don’t want to manage to let myself get back to where I was with the Bio or where my friend has gotten with the Love of her Life.

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