My weekend was amazing…picked up the Cruiser, hung out with my sister and brother-in-law and just had time to read a book. However, the weekend ended sorely with the on going email drama about the unpaid child support.

Alright I am not a math person. But, I have been tracking and logging all support paid and it seems to me this undertaking is more frustrating than anything. I know what I’ve gotten from him and from the state, but he figures if it already came out of his check it’s definitely come to me. Ugh.

So, in order to buy groceries for the week I had to back shelf very important items for me…oh, who needs toilet paper or paper towels or unders for that matter? Jeez, it’s an uphill battle that I am fighting with every ounce of who I am today as a person. I’ve sent casual emails and I’ve sent detailed ones, so now I get in touch with the State people. Almost feeling like a scene from that really cool movie with Christian Bale…Equilibrium…it was sort of a Matrix rip off, but I really liked it. People doing what they are told and living life without knowing what they are missing…okay doesn’t really apply completely, but my point is that I have to call people to figure out how this is ‘supposed to work’ and I have to give over every detail of the last 14 days to justify why I need this help. Then, I get off the phone to find out that the information really makes no sense and I have to basically smile and move on until every is made right. Yikes this is tough and all I really need is to buy the Monkey some Yogo Bits and Lactose Free Organic Milk.

My heart is pounding in my ears and finger tips as I type this entry…I need some kind of release from all the drama that comes with being the only person in this that really doesn’t get why all this had to come this far.

I think I’m done with venting…I think, I can get on with today and not respond to his email and I can take a deep breath and wait for the white horses to ride in and tell me what to do.

Deep breath.