Back when I found out I was preggers with the Monkey, I was certain there was no way that I wanted a girl. Ever. Nope. No thank you.
Having a girl just seemed like one of those things I could do without. Girls are tough. They are emotional balls of mushy ribbon-loving girliness. Trust me, I remember being a little girl and I was not easy. Plus, my Mama had a the whole raising girls things down to a science. And thanks to her amazeballs mix of feminine and feisty, this Mama has never compromised having the muddy mucky fun for the froo-froo purdy girl. Not to toot my own horn but damn if I’m not the truly a wicked catch. Ask the Boyfriend. Serious.
Fast forward to Monkey being a toddler, and when I realized that raising a chico was not going to be easy peasy. At least not this little Cancer with a deep soul and a heart the size of the UK. I could see it in his cavernous dark eyes that just went on and on forever with thoughts and thoughts for days. It started with the questions when he was three about, living things and where they come from. It moved on when he was four, to where do things go if they aren’t here anymore. It kept going when he was six, to a conversation about mortality and the creation of the earth. My mind is blown by this kid.
Boys in my mind were supposed to be rough and tumble and mucky messes! And while the Monkey is all those things, he might just be the next Ghandi, Deepok Chopra or he will blaze a whole new trail of his own that knocks everyone’s socks off. I dunno but I do know that he going to do miraculous things. This Monkey is destined for greatness. In class he is distracted by his thoughts. He is distracted by wanting to share the wonders in his mind. We are so lucky that we have a teacher this year that sees what he is and encourages him to do his best and preserve his every swirling thirst for knowledge and excitement. He’s an explorer. He’s a dreamer. He’s an inventor. He’s my Monkey and every day I love him more than the last day.
Raising boys isn’t as easy as I had imagined it to be. Having a boy doesn’t mean you get to skip all the questions or the emotions or the confusion. It simply means that as a Mama, I have to figure out how to take this stunning little person and encourage him to be the best Monkey he can be without squashing his development. This little boy is going to be such a brilliant man that I can’t wait to show him off to the world. And, I can’t believe how lucky I am to participate in this journey with Monkey throughout the whole thing.
I look in the mirror and I see a woman who has grown up tons since I birthed this little person six years ago…and I look at the Monkey and I see so many parts of me that make me proud and make me terrified. In the end, no matter what you have…boy or girl…it’s important to just love that little person with every ounce of your being and never compromise on that ever. I guess the lesson I learned was that raising genders is never cookie cutter, it’s never cut and dry. Every little being is placed on this earth with purpose and well, we are parents are the guides through this wacky world of ups and downs.
Deep breath. Move forward. Be present.