Very rarely do I feel compelled to write about a poor experience, anywhere. Hardly ever does the Mama find it necessary to take to the interwebs and expound on horrible times because I would rather just do the Yelp thing and leave it at that. However, yesterday the Boyfriend and I were treated to the most bizarre and terrible moments of my entire NFL loving life.

If you’re ever been to a sports bar, then you know things can get heated. Your favorite team is battling for the “W” on their record and when it comes to the play-offs shit get extra HOT! Last night the Boyfriend and I went to a local sports bar, Big Wangs, thanks to the recommendation of a buddy, and when we arrived we were treated like we had bugars hanging out of our noses. A midst a sea of red Niners jerseys we were told that we would be given an inside table as soon as the current game was over and the crowds had cleared. We sat outside on the patio. Freezing. Our. Asses. Off.

The Boyfriend went to check on the table and found that very same manager seating a group of Niners fans. Fail.

Upon a second return into the establishment only to let the manager know we were going only be a party of two, the Boyfriend was greeted by a defensive and rude manager, who clearly had no intention of seating us inside. Fail.

Finally we were given a corner spot against the wall and were allowed to migrate next to a table of about twenty Niners fans with a healthy mix of Broncos fans. Once the game started there was a healthy amount of taunting happening. Fun jeering and cheering for our teams. Two lone Packers fans in room full of red. Then out of nowhere a woman in the groups of red began throwing profanities at me. Pointing a finger at me and dropping f-bombs. Then coming over to our table and shaking her ass in our faces with her newly purchased jersey. I was getting HOT.

The Boyfriend spied my irritation and when the crowd began jeering and the woman continued to throw profanity our way he defended me. My hero. The twenty some fans came at him. And after some interjection by a Cardinal fan, the tides were cleared and the wave shook our hands. The woman came over and apologized. There was peace among the Niners swarm and our tiny party of two. It felt good to see conflict resolved so quickly and with such good will. These were clearly good folks. I was thoroughly pleased.

And yet, the thing that got us thrown out of this terribly overpriced alleged sports bar was celebration. The Boyfriend and a couple of the Niners fans had been warned about jumping up on the seats, neither had been told they would be ejected for it. There was lots of seat jumping. On both sides. It was all in fun. But the management decided that the Boyfriends celebrating wasn’t as acceptable as the Niners fans. So we were told to leave and the Niners fans were shocked and appalled. How could we be thrown out after they had done the same?!? They made an effort to talk to management. No dice. We were already done with that place.

Here’s the thing, the waitress we were first sat with was rude. She kept coming back asking if we were okay, and after we ordered some beverages she insisted on being curt with us. After we were sat inside, the waitress was helpful but she was hardly seen at our table. We ordered wings and let me tell you the flavor was decent but sparse for the price we were charged. Five spicyish wings for $9.49. Seriously? Only five? Browsing at their menu, it’s a mish mash of horribly named overpriced food. After looking at their Yelp page, I see so many reviews speaking to the same and it makes me terribly sad we didn’t hit our usual spot.

Oddly enough we ended up at my parents house for football watching and we had a blast re-telling the story of our misfortune. If anything, I am proud to have met some seriously classy folks who I would have been proud to watch the game with had we been given the option. But, I will never go back to Big Wangs again.

The moral of this story is that living in suburbia there are many challenges, but you never figure that you’ll be ostracized for rooting for your team, defending your girlfriend or just being an out-in-out football fan looking for fun. Excessive celebration is penalized by the NFL for a few reasons, but none of these applied here. The Niners fans were ready for fun after the short debacle and so were we.

The management at Big Wangs is sub par. The service is sub par. Just take a gander at their Yelp. It’s clear as day that this place has some serious growing to do and they need to realize that treating folks like this could result in a bad review or a blog post or a Facebook postings that reaches friends who might have been future customers.

Bad form, Big Wangs. Bad form.