Personal space is sacred. I value my space and at times have often hoarded it from others. Especially, the men who come into my life. I’ve said it before in a few posts after living with men on various occasions or with my folks my space is like Gollum’s Precious. It’s all fracking mine. Don’t touch.
Over the last five years I have honed my space. Whittled it down to a particular type of venue that on Monkey-less weekends included just laying on my couch and enjoying the silence and the fact that I didn’t have to be anywhere. Times have changed.
And yes, I admitted in a post that I love having the Boyfriend around. I don’t mind sharing my space with him. It has been literally a decade since I wanted to be around someone as much as I am the Boyfriend. In fact, it’s eerily quiet when he’s not around. I tweet it all the time. A quiet that I used to relish and adore. Indeed some nights I could use the quiet, but others it just reminds me how much I do adore having him around. So all things full of winning.
Well about a month ago-ish I started having to leave the casa early for weekly work meetings, which meant if the Boyfriend stayed over and didn’t have to leave for work until after I did then we were left with two options.
Option A: Leave the front door unlocked. Therefore leaving all the belongings of myself and the Monkey exposed for pillaging by my suspected drug dealing neighbors who have way cooler stuff than me.
Option B: Give the man my key to lock the door. Not his own key. My key.
Somewhere during the passing of this frustrating morning routine came a homework assignment. The Boyfriend mentioned a key making thingy in the mall, and I somehow uttered the words “well then add that to your homework”. And that’s how it happened. There was no furious pacing of the floor deciding if he deserved the right to a key. There was no ceremony unveiling said key. It just happened.
I know, I know there are those out there who are thinking I didn’t give it enough thought. And even more who are judging me for being so flippant with the entrance to my domain that I share with the Monkey. But here’s the thing…if I had thought about it I would have come up with ten million reason why it wasn’t time. But, to be honest this is the best relationship I’ve ever been in and if things are this easy between the Boyfriend and me than I’m not going to question it. My head is filled with too many other questions about other things that matter that this is just one of those things.
The Monkey thinks the Boyfriend is wicked cool. And that my friends means the world to me. Sure there are kinks to be worked out in our dynamic of Monkey, Mama and Boyfriend but life is a work in progress. Right?
While I may have not given it too much over thinking or pounded pavement on the how and when the realization hitting me that this person is someone I trust with my space, that is more important than a piece of metal cut at the mall in a machine. I trust him with me and my heart and my kiddo and all the worthless crap in my house. Truthfully, the fact that I didn’t have to give this a huge second thought is what really is full of winning. This kids is big giant baby steps for the Mama.