Ladies and gentleman have you ever had someone assume that because they have connected you with opportunity that you then own them something. Like sex. Yeah I put it out there. It has happened and while I was ready to cut the ties that bind me to this individual I have risen to be victorious.
This last two weeks presented problems with friends who are newcomers (or returners) the this Mama’s life. One of them being Pants Guy. Pants Guy was connected to me through a college friend who I’ve been doing some freelance copy editing with over the last couple of months of joblessness. Background on this one is that back in the day we shared a one night stand and I took his pants to wear to work the following morning. We never spoke after that for any reason. We ran in the same circles but it was, what it was. The kicker here is that a couple weeks ago on his way up north he stopped in town to have a ‘catch up lunch’. So when he popped over to my house for lunch, he came with a bottle of wine I instinctively kicked the hurry up a notch and got us on our way. Wine for lunch? A catch up meeting? WTF?
Who are we kidding people this guy was looking for some action. After we sat for lunch at a joint down the street he was visibly disturbed by my alleged lack of read into the vibe he was throwing my way. So, I casually mentioned my relationship status — and this is where it gets funny in a way I thought was just random miscommunication and assumption. He started looking at his calendar on his tablet and explained that he couldn’t make it to the mixer the following week he had invited me to so that we could network with writers. While I was disappointed I was stoked to have another night where I didn’t have to be anywhere but home with the Monkey. Later that weekend I spotted a post of his on Facebook with a call-to-action for a person to accompany him to the same mixer he cancelled on me. Like the ballsy Mama I am, I called him out on it via telephone. He made excuses about how his initial reason for cancelling changed and blah, blah, blah…
After a few days he proceeded to email me and cancel on me for other stuff. Hurm. Really? So when I asked him during a touch base call what was up he mentioned that his continued support of me was because he had hoped we were going to ‘reconnect on a different level’, which roughly translates to I wanted to bang you and you blew it. With there being a working relationship, and my strict policy of you don’t shit where you eat, I couldn’t believe in this day and age that anyone would just make that assumption? Seriously I was blown away. But knowing that this is one of those things I took the high road and bowed out of our work relationship. It was just freelance work and with the new jobby job I wasn’t really going to be hurting immensely for cash in the long run. So done and done.
Well that’s not it folks.
Yesterday morning I got a phone call. A call from Pants Guys’ boss. That’s right I got a call from the woman who he reports to at this establishment. Her curiosity had been peaked as to why I had up and left them as a freelancer since she was hella happy with my work. So I did what any self-respecting ballsy Mam would do. I told her the truth. I explained his motive and my discomfort with the future awkwardness and she didn’t seem surprised. One awkward silence later and a few negotiations and we came to an agreement. And so I will be getting back on the freelance horse when they need me and not having to talk to or see Pants Guy unless I want to have interaction with him. BAM!
There are people in the world who don’t deserve what they have gotten out of treating others poorly and with little to no respect. Not Pants Guy isn’t a talented person but if you walk through life expecting inappropriate compensation for an exchange of goods than you are a schlep and I will dislike you greatly. I’ve got standards people! I have serious standards about business and pleasure and I won’t bend’em for just anyone or any reason.
Settle for nothing less than awesome. Truth.