There are few people who know about my deep love for Hip Hop. It’s not like you could look at me and see it. It’s not like you could see into my soul and feel the past experiences that have shaped my appreciation for Hip Hop. In life there are things that sometimes you keep locked up in the deepest part of who you are in an effort to protect them.
When I lost my Tio on Valentine’s Day of last year there were so many things that flew into the box I keep deep in my soul. Hip Hop was one of those. It was something he did well. It was something he had perfected in my eyes. He could memorize a rap, name where the loop came from and tell you 1,001 and things about the artist in a matter of moments. His music knowledge had been inspired by my Dad and together they taught me the fundamentals of melodies, vibe and the sheer joy associated with what music can do to a moment.
Since this current relationship is one of those that involves educating each other on things that the other may have not known about it or had little exposure to last night’s event was perfect for two reasons. First, my Guy has a serious interest in Hip Hop and already has begun educating himself on the amazing artists out there. Second, I would take those pieces out of the heart box I created for this part of my music self and expose them to someone who I don’t feel the need to hide around. What did we do?
Last night we went to see Beats, Rhymes & Life: The Travels of a Tribe Called Quest.
When I was twelve years old I heart Can I Kick It? for the very first time sitting in my Tio’s room at my Grandma’s house while he sat there concentrating on memorizing every single word and bobbing his head to the beat. We listened to the whole album over and over again. We talked about the songs and he told me what he thought. He encouraged me read in between the lines and to feel the music in my fingertips while it blasted in the empty house. These were some of the best times of my life. Moments when I started to carve out the woman I wanted to be and while I was unaware of it at the time it was in these moments that helped build the foundation for the woman I am still becoming today. Free-thinking. Non-Conformist. Free-Loving. Creative. Hippy. Hardworking. Lover of life.
Last night I found myself tearing up as we watched the documentary. I hadn’t really explained what this meant to me. I didn’t go there. And the tears never came past the misting point thanks to that comfort of feeling like even if they did come he would get it. Or at least make an effort to understand it. Knowing how connected I am to my family is hella important to this Mama. They are the foundation for the soul that has been built up over these last thirty-two years. My people encourage knowledge. There is something phenomenal about feeling that positive energy when you’re with someone who desires knowledge in the same nature as you do. Exploring each others opinions on topics of all natures and even if we don’t agree we learn from each other and see the other side is important to the discussion. Trust me it feels good to know that agreeing to disagree is an option. Amazing. Separately we are driven to achieve our individual goals and together well I think there are truly fantastic things coming on this path.
As I’ve sat all day with earbuds in and music playing, I am recapturing those bits that I shoved deep down in my heart box. And with the encouragement of the people around me who care about me for whatever reason I’m gonna keep on the comeback road that I have solidly been on for the last seven months. BAM!