Home Adulting Caution has been thrown to the wind…

Caution has been thrown to the wind…


What’s the longest date you’ve ever had before?

My longest date was over ten years ago and since then, I’ve had a few memorable dates but none that lasted longer than the average normal 3-hour time frame. Not until two weeks ago when I had a 12-hour date (that I wasn’t even sure was a date) did my head get thrown for a loop. The next time we hung out it was roughly 9-hours. Then this Monkey-less weekend we hung out for a record 36-hours. (insert pause for shock and awe)

Honestly, I wouldn’t have thought I would like this guy. Surface opinion was he seemed cocky and kinda douchey in an he has an opinion on everything kinda way and doesn’t hide it. From the things I had heard through the local powers-that-be I had a skewed view of him. Watching him an Twitter and seeing his writings about topics I could tell he was someone who just didn’t give a fuck about what people thought about him. Frankly, I was intrigued by him but when someone seems to have less fans in his court it is a smidgen off-putting. So, when we made plans to meet I was uncertain if it was just two people with social media life in common or if it was a date. In fact, I was certain I would not like him and that we would most likely bang and move on with it. Maybe become occasional f-buddies and keep each other at arms length. You know serve a purpose but no real niche in my life.

I was wrong.

There it is in print. Bold even. I was wrong. Yes there is a first time for everything. From the first time we met (in person) I felt something that I haven’t felt in forever…calm. A feeling that I often only get from talking with the people in my life who are close to me. People who understand me and have for a long time. Well, mostly my Mom. From the first moment he sat down next to me, we both shared our most obscure and sensitive life topics. It was bizarre and fantastic. By 5am we were forcing ourselves to say goodbye and no banging occurred whatsoever. Holy crap, right? I know my mind was blown too. Every time we hang out it’s the same. More of the same comfortable and amazing quality time with a guy who just talks and talks and doesn’t censor himself for a moment…and vice versa.

So, when the call came for a chance to see Flogging Molly on Friday with him I jumped up and made-it-so. Truthfully, it has been ages since I wanted to spend time with anyone like this on a moments notice. My attitude is usually, if you can’t give me notice then Too Bad So Sad. This is different. From Friday evening around 7.30pm until this afternoon around 1pm we spent the whole weekend hanging out. We spent the weekend laying around like walruses and talking and talking and talking…about everything. There were random breaks for food and moving to a couple of coffee shops to work out away from the house and then a wicked cool night out with the Rachel and her Mister.

I am in a state of shock and awe myself.

We spent almost the whole weekend together and not once did I have a moment of when-the-fuck-is-this-guy-leaving. And honestly, I know that if I had asked him for a some me time he would have given me the time to just be with myself. But oddly enough I did not want it. There was just a natural flow of me and him and had anyone told me I would have been here at this point with this guy six months ago I probably would’ve knee-capped ’em. And for those of you who aren’t familiar with knee-capping look here. Ugh. It feels really bizarre for me to be sitting here thinking about it or not thinking about really. Say whaaaat? There is no doubt in my mind or heart or whatever it is that usually has doubt that this relationship is going to make an impact. That’s right relationship. I wrote it out loud. The OkCupid profile is gone officially and I have no interest in seeing anyone else. I’m hooked.

Here’s the thing. I’ve made concessions in the past for men-folk who have lacked qualities that would make for an ideal candidate of matehood because finding all the things that would be ideal to me has begun to seem unattainable. I’m not looking for perfection. That’s hella absurd. I’ve always just hoped to find someone to connect with on levels that are pretty normal; even if the topics may not be normal in nature. With age and experience I started to sorta feel like the me that I am was never going to find someone who could accept me. And with all that being said I am in the middle of feeling the aster (Young Justice reference). This is wicked good. Waking up in the morning is good. Falling asleep at night is good. Watching random 80’s movies I feel ashamed to have never heard of is good. This feeling is good…better than good…whatever is better than good it’s that.

I bet you’ve noticed I haven’t given the guy a bloggey nickname. And the main reason is I can’t think of one. I’ve scrapped a bunch already and not one of them seems to fit him at all. And therefore he might never get one. He might just be they guy in my life and that’s that.

If this is what honestly happy feels like then shit son I’ve been missing out.


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