There is something amusing about being the single Mom in the mornings at the preschool. Like seriously, amusing and laugh out loud funny. On Friday, night I ran into a bunch of the Mommy’s from school while out at a local wine lounge. They were friendly and seemed like they were going to change their warmth (or lack there of) towards me. I’m an anomaly in their world. All of them are married. They are all searching for their Mommy Bliss together as buddies in their married couples world and I am an outsider. I have no husband and no common bond with a partner that I can commiserate over with them.
Don’t get me wrong, there are a couple of Moms who say ‘Hello’ and ask about playdates and that are very sweet and understanding of my situation and how awkward it can be sometimes. However, I often wonder if they don’t think I might be some kind of alien with a ulterior motives to probe their world for it’s secrets. *sigh* I’ve said this before to married friends. There’s a reason I’m not married. Getting down to brass taxes, I know that there has not been a good reason for me to make that step. There wasn’t enough there with the Bio. We loved each other but it wasn’t enough for me to push the envelope on that one. Personally, I think it takes a huge amount of balls to know that there is just no hope there and walk.
I’m an alternative thinker. This is not news. If it works without a piece of paper and a poofy white dress than who the frack cares? I mean we all know, Mama isn’t qualified to wear white anyway. Duh. I wonder what it is about unmarried women that makes the married one’s uncomfy. Is it my hotness? But seriously, I don’t understand the stigma with being a single Mom versus a Divorced Lady. It seems that it is more appropriate to be a woman who is divorced with kids than to be a woman who has chosen against marrying someone and having a baby. Weird, right? I totes think so. Life is about a series of choices. Those choices I have made have lead me here and I’m okay with that. I wonder why it seems that so many women don’t get that. Should I have suffered in silence just to give my son a more acceptable family?
There are days when I feel like I should be donning some kind of marking that indicates I have a Baby Daddy instead of an Ex-Husband. Like those around me need some kind of warning that I am coming and to hide their hubby’s so I don’t sink my man-eater claws into them. I’m not against forever. I’m not against possibly finding someone to share a life with and just be. I am against making a choice that suits others better than it suits me. And if that makes me some kind of oddity than so be it. I’m okay with being the weird single Mom who has Red hair, lots of piercings in her ear, black eyeliner and amazing shoes…I kick ass and I’m pretty damn good Mama too.
And with that I leave with the song for the day…careful, I bite.