I’ve been dwelling on a topic for a bit the last few days…Expectations.
Even The Rachel and I have made this topic a pretty central theme in the Office lately. We both have friends who have entered the dating world with expectations that may break them. Oddly enough I don’t remember having those delusions of grandeur that a lot of women come into the Man/Woman World holding onto ever so tightly. Or maybe I got over them so quickly as a teen that as an early 20-something I didn’t believe in the hype of the Prince and his stupid white horse. I do remember, praying to someone that the Bio would be the one…but, that was after several failed attempts to find a balance between being the Girl in our relationship and being the Stable Entity in his life. I’m exhausted now.
It’s kind of shitty statement. We’re told not to expect too much from certain things and to come into others with no expectations. Does that even make sense? How does that make sense? Don’t have any expectations? How do you manage that in life?
Here’s what I think. We as a society are so trained to believe that people will let us down because we are only ‘human’ that we work so hard to convince ourselves that having some kind of expectation is going to drive down the possibility of happiness. For example in dating…’just have fun and don’t expect anything’. Really? Don’t expect anything?? At all? Nada?? If we don’t set our own expectations then how will we know when we’ve met the One? If I date without expecting anything from anyone, shouldn’t I just fall back into my 20-something patterns and just Bang every guy with killer arms, a guitarand strong hands? Yes? NO!!!
I expect to date someone…
- who will respect Me
- understand that I am a Mama
- adore my quirky behavior
- love me for all that I am without conditions
Expectations are what give us a standard to live by and hopefully for those around us to live up to…it’s how I measure who deserves my time and who doesn’t belong here in this life I’m wading through. Are the outrageous? Not in my mind. I have asked people to leave my life because they don’t measure up to what I expect of a person who is going to be in my life. It’s been necessary. It’s been healthy for me.
I worry about my friends who expect too much and get disappointed constantly…but I worry more about those who expect nothing.
Expectations come from knowing yourself and knowing what you expect from yourself and therefore those around you. Expect good things people. We’re all worth it.