A tweet last week from @singlegirlie made me think about education as a factor in dating and relationships…then it got me to thinking about something Mr. Faith said while we were having a glass of wine on 4th of July at Valencia Wine Company.
He said, “You use words I don’t understand sometimes.”
I think the word I used was ‘disconcerting’ about the need to purchase Gym Memberships and go every day for hours. Personally, I find gyms off-putting and have only actually been in a gym ONCE in my entire life. But, hey whatever gets you going.
So, I started to think about how he had never been to college and had no desire to educate himself beyond the occasional informational type book about travel destinations or self help stuff. At first, I thought no biggie. Right? Sure…I was being open minded and this was new. So I made this into a case study as I thoroughly examined this post-mortem of our short dating life…then, I added others into the equation. Most of my short relationships ended abruptly and oddly because something just wasn’t right. Could it have been a lack of intellectual stimulation to keep my interest peeked and hold my attention?
So just for shits and giggles, I examined my relationship with the Bio. He really wanted to go to school and get a degree…but, he always touted my education like it made me better than him. NOT SO. However, I think our lack of ability to communicate on the same level did contribute to our lack of success in the end…and continued challenges. Enough said.
Then, I looked at others I’d dated. It was very eye-opening for me…most of my relationships long or short ended because I was bored (okay the ones that didn’t break my heart) and found things wrong with them as an excuse to bolt or never call them again.
My longest relationship other than the Bio was with a college ball player at my community college who desperately wanted to elevate himself above his family and be the first college graduate. He and I sat for hours reading, talking and exploring…it’s only flaw was that he was also desperate to experience life away from all the trappings of what was then our small town life. We broke up after we got our AA’s and transferred to the same local University. In short, he didn’t want to get married and have babies…neither did I at that moment, but that’s a whole other Oprah.
My Mom always told me opposites attract…she is college educated and my Dad barely took courses before he was drafted to Vietnam. But, my Dad always had a desire to be more than just his job. He wanted to be a better man, husband and Dad…not just a guy in uniform. My Dad worked his way up from the bottom and eventually ran a whole division for Hilton Hotels locally. My Dad reads the paper everyday, watchs the travel channel and cooks like a professional chef. He’s a catch.
So, maybe it doesn’t matter if the person you date is educated with a Master’s in Chemical Sciences…but, if they have that deep desire to be someone above their former self and have need to acquire knowledge and keep moving forward…then, maybe love is all you really need. (thank you to the Beatles)
I can almost hear the grumbling from my friends who think love conquers all…but, all-in-all I don’t think education matters between two people who love each other. However, it seems that people need common ground…goals that drive them together and not apart. A passion for life that exceeds ones educational credits and merits.
Maybe love does conquer all…or at least it can be a start to conquering something.
Of course my mind spun towards my current developing relationship with Mountain Man. I think that’s a whole other weekend and blog post.