Have you ever had a disagreement whilst driving somewhere with your partner? If you are a human being then I’m sure that the answer if “Hells-to-the-Yeah”. It happens. The drive starts out with the best intentions of arriving at a location to enjoy company and happy times with friends and then something goes terribly wrong. Right?
If anyone has ever experienced this kind of epic driving experience then I’m sure many have then had the joy of arriving at the chosen destination and pretending that nada was wrong. Y’all know what I mean. Put on the happy face and wade through the event hoping that when you got back into the vehicle that the point of contention would have just faded during the consumption of libation and good food. However I think exiting the vehicle before finishing the discussion is tantamount to going to bed angry; no one should do it.
What was the disagreement about? Frankly the content is unimportant. Usually in situations like these it’s not really the content that really creates the issue. The issue my friends lies in the inability of the people involved in the matter to hear each other. I don’t mean that all of sudden the noise of traffic drowns out the sound of your voices. What I do mean is that the issue becomes clouded by harsh words and sometimes name calling, and then nothing is solved. Thus the tension-filled evening of fake smiles and hugs.
We are amazeballs together but we don’t always agree on shit. WE ARE HUMAN, PEOPLE! I digress. But here’s the thing…yes, we disagreed and yet we managed to get through the topic at hand before reaching our destination and therefore enjoyed our evening without any residual aftermath. How on Jeebus’ green earth did we do it? It seems like a miracle to me too, but the fact of the matter is we had been looking forward to this for like a month and neither of us wanted to waste a good Saturday night together. Now you want to know the secret to this magical healing? We talked. To each other. And listened. To each other. How fracking awesome is that?
I know, I know. It is a strange thing to wrap one’s head around. But I find myself really not wanting to be mad at the Boyfriend for things like this. Indeed in the past I have felt like I was owed my ‘stew time’ to feel all that anger and frustration before I let it subside. And with this relationship, I am finding that I don’t want to waste that time shutting him out or being pissed. It just takes away from our time together being us. And we pretty much rock.
I truly think we all underestimate the awesomeness of talking. In movies and on TV we see these epic fights and how it makes couples stronger travel to the ends of the earth to make things right (I’m looking you dude who wrote the Notebook) and that make up sex is wicked fantastic (which it totes is) but in reality all that crap just takes away time. It eats up all the really fantastic stuff that makes a couple into something amazeballs. So, I guess what I’m saying is stop, take a deep breath and talk damn it!
Oh and keep this post bookmarked for the future in case I forget my own advice.