There are so many feelings that go into parenting. It’s a damn roller coaster. Up one day and feeling like gold and down the next feeling like that crappy lump of coal that Santa brings rotten bratty kids. Co-parenting adds a whole other level of difficulty to boot. Lately, co-parenting is not even on the radar for the Bio which makes raising the Monkey fall totally on my shoulders with the help of the Boyfriend.
Recently, Monkey expressed a desire to play sport. In the past, we’ve not been able to coordinate with his Bio to get him on a team and then Monkey lost interest altogether in playing anything. So we waited. Then Monkey decided to play football..flag football. Being football super fans, the Boyfriend and I were jacked up! Initially we got wait listed. Ugh the horrifying wait list. After checking with the local athletics office, I was reassured that we’d probably get a spot and so I informed the Bio and got zero response. Nada. Zip. Nothing. Then when the phone call came that we had gotten a spot, Monkey was too excited for words – I had 48 hours to make the decision and still got no response from his Bio. Ugh. So, I signed Monkey up.
You’d think that a person who complained repeatedly about not being given opportunities as a child, would jump at the chance to make certain his little person did have those experiences. Sadly, being the optimist I always am with the Bio never works. Ever. Nope. After hitting send on the email with the schedule and asking for his help with making sure Monkey gets to games, I was met with resistance supreme. (insert dramatic sigh here)
Monkey has missed every game that falls on the Bio’s days. He’s missed picture day. He missed some other really cool thing. Monkey always misses out on things when he’s with his Bio and it kills me. And yet again, the Bio blamed me for not following his rules and waiting his approval of the schedule. If I had to wait for him to respond to every little thing, Monkey would never get to do anything. Ever. Serious.
This isn’t news. It has happened since the beginning of time. Monkey missed parties, summer camp opportunities, Tae Kwon Do, camping and numerous other awesome kiddo experience because the Bio has mastered selfish to the max.
Monkey is thriving in football. We have amazing coaches and parents that have made this whole experience so much friggin’ fun I can’t stand it. The Boyfriend has found his niche with the Monkey and they have bonded over everything football. They play catch outside while I make dinner, they chat strategies for the games and Monkey has really found a place on the team thanks to our love and support.
Working as a co-parent is a thankless job, especially when the other parent refuses to work together. A very long time ago, I promised myself that I would never compromise anything for the Monkey – and I will never let the Bio take anything away from Monkey.