Home Adulting Traditionally Independent Heart

Traditionally Independent Heart


Once I dated a guy from eHarmony, who didn’t know what traditional gender roles were and how they functioned. But once we discussed it, he clearly was not a traditional fan in any way. This guy was looking for a come-as-you-are type relationship and didn’t see the point in defining anything…he was a FreeBird. No biggie. We disagreed on a lot of things…like running a household and managing money. He didn’t believe in a lot of the core values that I have adopted in my life at this point. I like the idea of coming home and making dinner with the family. I like the concept of being a team at home while having my own life outside the marriage…work and friends and hobbies. I want a partner but a man who is also able to take charge a bit in certain areas but isn’t afraid to work together for the good of the family unit. Traditions as I see it are defined by those creating them and not subject to approval by anyone.

That’s why a recent write-up of an article on the subject made my traditionally independent heart skip a few beats. The subject was disappointment in Giada De Laurentiis’ Redbook interview. In the interview Giada apparently claims to be a ‘tradionational wife’ and all that she believes is involved with that concept. Including treating her husband like a ‘king’ and just being a Mom and a wife when she’s home…I am paraphrasing for the record.

After much back and forth with the Rachel in our little office hub I decided the only thing that really frustrates me about the post is the judgment on another woman’s choice of what in her mind works for her family. Personally, I’m a fan of Giada’s work but not on the level that I would buy the magazine to read the article. However, I think after reading snippets and pieces from the interview that she’s not hurting womankind at all with her ‘tradtional wife’ choice. Those of us who choose to pursue a family are in a constant struggle to find the balance between our personal and professional lives? And if this Mom, Wife and celebrity Chef has found a balance within her own life and it is working for her and her hubby then I give them props.

Her traditional isn’t necessarily mine, nor does it have to be.

My job and daily grindage do not define who I am at home with my son. I am not an Account Manager at home. I am Mommy. I may not be someones wife, but if I was then it would be my choice on how to define that role with my partner, wouldn’t it? And who is to say that this choice then harms the leaps and bounds women have made throughout the years to find footing in this World?

In my current situation with New Guy, I’m finding out some things about myself that I find exciting and sort of refreshing. There are certain things that appeal to me in this setting, that I never thought would make my little heart skip-a-beat. He has some very traditional views on dating that I’ve not partaken in since my initial foray into dating some 15 years ago. In my opinion, it’s up to the couple to define their relationship. Traditions don’t have to be traditional and traditional doesn’t always mean a woman isn’t independent nor does it mean her partner is threatened by her success. Personally, I think we do more harm to our fellow Lady Traveler’s by picking each other’s choices apart rather than embracing our individuality and ability to learn and define what works for us to be successful and happy people.

What say you fellow travelers? Does tradition have a specific definition we must all follow? Or can we define our own tradition and not sacrifice who we are? Discuss.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here