Umm, did I miss something? Oh right it’s 2011. No this isn’t a review post or a resolution post. I don’t like the thought of either at this point. Mostly because I’m not going to resolve to change what I’m doing and as far as I can see the work I’ve done thus far doesn’t need reviewing either.
I’m working hard. It’s a constant effort no matter if the week, month or year changes. I’m a work in progress. And I like it that way.
There is no chapter to close, and no page to turn onto the next…this is me keeping up with ME.
Like I mentioned on Twitter a lot has happened. At work there were changes that will leave me reporting to a new boss (who I actually love almost as much as my old one) and guessing what crazy project I might next manage. Did you see that really cool Tron SE Video Game Kit? *wink*wink* For reasons in my own noggin, I love my job and well sometimes not…but, it’s done wonders for my imagination and my toes. Ask me what I do someday and you’ll get it.
And then there have been some subtle not so big alterations in me…like moving around stuff in my house, taking a few day trips with the Monkey and bonding with my Mama over Mexican foods on my solo Christmas Day. Not that these are changes but maybe learning moments for me. Moments where I looked deep inside my heart and found things that were missing that I deeply needed.
Since I started therapy, I’ve not only opened up to myself about who I am but found a deeper honesty with my Mom about who I am and how she helped impact this person. Being able to express sadness over something or simply hash out differences that have weighed heavy on my heart has not only helped me heal individually, but it has healed our relationship in ways I didn’t think possible. She’s always been my best friend. My Rock in a Hard Time. But now she’s much more than that and I don’t think there is a single word for what she is to me today. And our talking on Christmas Day eased something in my heart that was aching. Learning more and more about my parents and their relationship helps me understand how it can happen. How love can happen even when two people seem so different. And that maybe differences don’t make people that different after all. Just a theory I’m bouncing around.
My day trips with the Monkey and doing things with him always gives me such new perspective on how we do things. Like teaching him honesty. You’d think it’s a simple lesson to a little person. But it also pointed out to me that I’m often not honest enough with myself and those around me. Little white fibs are the worst. They create their own wall between two people. They can divide and conquer slowly and devastate just as much as those Big Whoppers. So together we are working on honesty, standing by your word and being an honorable person even when Mommy is beating you at Chutes and Ladders. I know, doesn’t seem that big but it is in the long run. First they start with board games and then they’re off fixing races at the Track.
And finally what you’re all waiting for…New Guy and I continue to talk and communicate and I really like him. That’s all ya get! I kid. We haven’t seen each other nearly as much as I would like but I’m slowly getting addicted to his calls and texts and hearing his voice before I lay me down to sleep. For sure we are in the Slow Boat to China Mode but I’m kinda digging it now that I’ve gotten used to the whole process. Truthfully, it is swell knowing someone actually would like to get to know me and not just the contents of my unders. Alas, I will keep y’all posted on the out comings of the next night out. *sigh*
And with that our time together ends until the next post, which I promise will have more relevance than ending an unplanned blogging hiatus.