You’re not like other women. -Too many men to count and Aiden, Sex and the City 2
Almost every guy I’ve dated has said something like these words to me at some point in our dating lifetime. What the hell does that even mean? Words like this make me wonder if I’m so different than other women then why have I met so many women like me? Women who have experienced love and heartbreak and exhaustion at the hands of Love’s unmerciful arrogance because we refuse to be that girl.
You all have to know what I mean when I say, that girl…right? Let me elaborate. She is the girl who will for no other reason than to not be alone let a man confuse, upset and hurt her just to be in a relationship. It’s like she’s taken the words no pain, no gain and twisted them into some weird motto that makes this unhealthy relationship okay because everyone knows being mistreated is awesomeness!
My Soul Sisters (first bump, cause you know who you are!)don’t know how to be that girl. Not that we haven’t at some point given it a go and failed miserably only to hear those adorable words that get me to cringing…
You’re not like other women.
Okay, so I finally sat down and talked with a Dude who shall remain nameless and chatted with him over beers about this whole topic. He’s a guy friend. We’ve thought about hooking up, but thanks to my deep desire to keep Mr. S in my life we have refrained. He’s for lack of a better term a self-proclaimed Player. And he says I am wicked to the core. So we are of course besties now…
This guy and I talked about how he knew from the get-go he could not pull the wool over my eyes with the Charm and the drinks and get me into the sheets. I was going to be work. That’s right he said work. Getting in my pants was going to require conversation, time and effort. Women like me are the kind you have to be accountable to for your actions and you can’t just hit it and quit it. Because we know. Damn I’m good. However, given the chance my sisters and I can be the best to party with because we can also draw a line in the sand and not cross it. So, he has chosen a less maintenance kind of girl…he takes her out for drinks and dinner and back to his place for sexy time and then they do it all over again…every weekend. She requires nothing of him. No challenge. No questions. Just content to have someone in her life filling space.
And here I thought I was low maintenance! Right? I thoughtsince I don’t need a fancy dinner and all that jazz that I was the more preferable option? But it appears these last few years of regaining my dating footing that I have got it totally ass-backwards. I am apparently the high maintenance girl…because I require conversation and some kind of sharing of activities outside the sheets (don’t get me wrong that’s still my fav)? Only because I like to know how someones day was or maybe grab a few beers and watch a game. Does that make any sense??
This has totally thrown my dating thought process off balance and this girl is trying to get her kilter back. Thoughts? Is the Low Maintenance Girl really the High One? Or does this Player Friend of mine have it all wrong?