Home Mom Stuff Co-Parenting State of my Non-Union

State of my Non-Union


I’ve had a few almost Unions occur this last six months. But nothing concrete that warranted the I’m not dating anyone else statement when asked how my love life is/was by friends and the like. I’ve stayed tight-lipped about my most recent prospective mates with most everyone but Rachel and Mr. Awesome and my sis…because they give me the best advice and know me strangely well. Oddly enough I’ve now been asked by one of my prospective suitors what the State is of my current Non-Union? Argh. What is the current State? I’m single. Duh. I’m dating. Right? Bleh.

Well so this conversation about when/what/if and so forth got me to thinking about the whole timing who/when do people decide they only want to date each other?

Back in the day, it was an adorable simple question. Either written on a note or by your locker. Do you wanna be my girlfriend? I’ve gotten the note. Been asked out after the football game. And there was always some kind of moment when people first saw you at school as a couple that made the whole thing a production. My High School boyfriend asked me in a Hallmark Card. It was deathly adorable. I still have the card. It was classic.

Then as I moved onto my college years, there seemed to be that lack ofconfession ofadorationand/or finality of coupledom. You just sort of were dating. There was no ‘hey you wanna date me’ and it seemed if your friends could confirm it for you then it must be happening. But college for me was visiting Mr. Wonka’s and I was that chubby kid who dug chocolate. I totally got sucked up the tube friends. I was all over the place and it took some doing to get me stuck on someone. But I went with the flow. What seemed right just seemed to happen and then flow into something everyone confirmed as logical. But sadly was the worse possible thing in the world.

After college it seemed there was more concrete effort into marking one’s territory and I didn’t wait for the Men Folk to decide. I got tired of the waiting for the lame introductions, ‘this is my girl…’ or ‘have you met my girlfriend’ that usually was followed by the I hope the bear doesn’t eat me glance from said suitor. Oddly I thought it was the most amazing thing when a guy, the Cowboy comes to mind, would just Man up and say it, ‘let’s not see anyone else’. If a guy could say it like he wanted it to be, then I was putty. Like melty gooey putty. Gross.

Post-Bio and up one Monkey, I’m not sure how it’s supposed to go. The Bio just asked me to ‘never be anyone else’s’ and after that I’ve had a variation of all of the above happen. Notes, questions, assumptions and now there’s this State. I’ve had Men get upset with me for ‘dating’ when they assumed we were more than I did. Communication seems to have not changed much in the last twenty years between boys and girls disguised as grown-ups that surround me every day. I don’t think there’s a date limit or that it is ever safe to assume (remember that thing your Junior High Teacher taught you?) that anything is going on with anyone at any point. Remember my post onTalk not Being Cheap. Communicate with me and I will know. Duh.

So, as I sit here pondering being challenged to address the issue of my current dating State, I’m stuck. Okay well not after talking to Rachel but I was stuck at the point of the convo. There were two. Two guys who have come into my life. Both who were aware of the other. Both who understood I’m dating. Both who could hold my attention for long periods of time. But only one who said, it has always been me. Only one has continued to leave it up to me and what my heart wants. And with that I’ve made a big choice.

What is the State of my current Lack of Union? I’m single right now. Ask me again in four weeks.

p.s. I’d love to hear every one’s thoughts…do you have a date limit before you cut someone off? Or do you just go with the flow?


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