In life there are those undeniable moments in time when you either act or step away and put your balls back on the shelf where they were gathering dust. Recently (like the last several weeks) I’ve been eyeing those moments as they came up and consequently have taken my chances as they come and while some of those moments have not ended ideally, there is a reason for everything. Every choice we ultimately make drives us down the next path and the next until we find something that matches up with the scars we’ve given ourselves.
In a moment of courage and fear I stepped up to the plate and took a chance. What chance you ask? Frankly, I had been sitting back and watching myself flirt shamelessly and toss innuendo around like, well whatever you throw it around like. *giggle* And yet no matter how much encouragement I got from the darling Rachel, I kept my own little secret crush a secret from myself. Until finally my dearest adopted child pointed it out to me and it stuck. I had a Crush on someone I really had never even met. Umm, okay. Sure. That makes sense. Right? Of course it does…this is ME people. A few more days passed and I found my window. I took it. I leaped in front of the bus and let it ride. For the second time in less than a month-ish I put myself out there…it’s actually exhilarating when you do it. I know there are fellow tweeps who think I Crush at the drop of a hat, but I don’t act without real intent. What kind of intent? Intent to feel something. That’s right. I need to have a motivation. A moment when I feel like if I don’t act then there might just be a lost moment. The kind you can’t recapture.
Maybe I depend too much on impulse and those feelings. Maybe that’s just my nature. Maybe I’m just too much of my Father’s daughter and believe Love comes in the most unlikely opportunities and moments. So then, why not leap when you can? That leap or the next might prove to be the result we all crave and desire…whether it’s to find someone who you can fall into It with or someone you can pass the time until the real deal comes along. Leaping is the only way to figure it out.
I did it friends andI encourage you to do it too. Okay disappointment can be part of the deal too. But we’re all grown-ups now, right? Or at least of legal age…? Like that even matters. Ugh. I digress. There are moments when you just have to live it. Honestly, I’m overwhelmed right now.
What’s the point, Mama? Get to the point!
Just Do It.
(Mr. Awesome is laughing)
And find your inspiration along the way…expose yourself to those around you (dirty birds!) and just let life happen. With that I leave you with a small thank you to the beautiful Frida Kahlo on her birthday,for inspiring this Mama…to live, to love and to drink like a G*d Damn fish.
p.s. Oh and by the way, all this was about my having a date this weekend…in case you were curious.