Just finished my Shred and thengot on the phone with a East Coast Transplant friend who has a dilemma. He met this girl back when we were in college and they became friends just like we did. Close like brother/sister close…I’ve seen him nakeds and have no desire to do anything with that image, well except forget it. So, I digress!! Sorry. Well they became roommates and then FWB’s that right Friends with Benefits. And he was apparently okay with it until she met someone else…not a boyfriend, not a new Crush…a Single rent-controlled place on the Miracle Mile. Oh, and she admitted she doesn’t wanna be an FWB anymore. She’s ‘too grown-up for that stuff’. Alright so here’s his dilemma…in an effort to not lose his Good Thing he wants to jump the gun and ask his Lady Lurvly to be his Wo-man. I know, I know! I laughed too!
Sooo, he was reading my blog and asked me what I would do….that’s when I laughed LOUDER!! And of course asked him if he was really reading the right blog???
I’ve had a couple FWB’s usually in between hiatus’ with the Bio. There are very few people I would trust with that honor…in fact I can think of one right now. (oops) I mean it takes a special kinda person to have the kind of trust and know that there are boundaries. Personally, none of those peeps would be potential mates and those lines drawn in the sand mean just that…know when to say when. There comes a point when it’s just done and that’s usually when the welcome is warn out and it’s starts to become routine…but not good routine. Like conflicting with the rest of the world routine. It happens.And then it gets messy like my dear East-Coaster and his chicadee.
Here’s the thing…in the lastyear I’ve had the FWB options open up to me by a few guys, but it’s either not the right reasons or there was more to it than just the whole hook-up and so I Reserve the Right to Refuse Service. Not that it hasn’t crossed my mind lately…I’m only human! In fact…nah, I’m not sharing that one!
What did I tell my friend? Let it go. Let her go. She’s moving up and moving on and starting a relationship for the wrong reasons doesn’t make a right. And who says, Good Thing anymore? Like really. that is sooo 80’s! All-in-all I think he’s got it. Desperation makes people do nutty stuff and regrets usually abound.
And rule #23 never live with your FWB is just makes shit stupid!