There is something about reading the journal that the Bio and I pass between visits that drives me to look in the entryway mirror and wonder…WHY?
His entries are often filled with underlying accusations that our son didn’t get enough sleep or that he was cranky and unpleasant. It’s one thing to report the wonders of the Monkey it’s entirely another to leave comments that make me feel like my son is not good enough for him. Or that the way I do things is absolutely wrong.
At first, the journal was a breath of fresh air and insight into my son’s moments with the man who fathered him. But there are days, I just want to call him and say ‘why do you bother?’.
This amazing little man deserves to be loved…cranky or not…sleepy or not…bad day or not…he deserves every ounce of love the we have in our bodies. This is why I look in the mirror and ask myself…WHY?