the Crushing Crush.


Alright, so I have been avoiding blogging because I really had this one in the bag…not sure if it was my overconfidence or that there was something just not there, but my Crush ended up crushing me for a week.

Picture if you will the adorable kind of IT Guy who has that sort of cute geeky-ness that isn’t off putting…you know the I’m smart but approachable kind of dude. Basically, I had been watching him for a bit and wondering how someone SO smart could actually have social skills. Most guys like him don’t know how to begin a sentence that doesn’t start with some sort of system analysis.
So, finally after a few weeks of watching and waiting for him to say something more than, ‘I really like your boots’, I dove in head first and initiated the move making.

Friday, May 1st. It was a classic ‘cat and mouse’ conversation on Windows Live Messenger…I was coy and cute and very ready to be taken by force. Our conversation led to him giving me his cell phone number so I could in person (sort of) ask him ‘if he was single’…since at this point it was a mystery. IT Guy was the elusive mystery, he was neither open nor closed with details about his life and I wanted IN!! On the phone, he was flattered and sweet and honest about his recent heartbreak…he is not from the States…so, I was very candid and allowed the door to be opened just a smidge but not all the way.

By the time the phone was being hung up on both ends plans were made to ‘get to know each other’…at least I thought so. My very good friend (and work colleague) was having a going away party the following day and we had sort of agreed to see each other there and have a few beers….well, fast forward to me hanging out with my Laura and her Lady Love at this party where I felt like a Queen on top of the world. It was great, I was surrounded by people I worked with all having an amazing time and loving the time but, feeling sad my German Giant would be leaving us for good.

Then, the door opens…I take a deep breath, like I had a dozen times before…enter my IT Guy with a girl people had told me he had been seeing on the side on and off since November. Now, I would have not been so Crushed if it had been another girl. I know this because I had thought based on our conversation he was not ‘with anyone’. But, to my surprise he showed up with this girl…this girl who is married and been with her husband for well over a decade (high school sweethearts). I looked at my friends and thought, how is this possible? How do you pick the married girl with the baggage over me? HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN???

Half the room sort of stopped for a minute and you could feel the tension…then, I stopped myself from allowing a reaction to break my mood. But, my head still whirled with the thoughts of why not me? I’m not by any means a super model, but I’m also no slouch. I just couldn’t fathom why he would have gone to the trouble to make up something and involve me in this drama, because by the end of the night every girl who had every crushed on him was my best friend and getting my cell phone number.

IT WASN’T ME!! He’s a jerk in cute geeks clothing. He misrepresented himself to a few others and I was SO happy I hadn’t let myself get as involved as the others.

Today, I am over the whole ordeal. Just trying to work with him on a big project and make sure he knows I’m not weeping in my office over this, without being mean or evil or yelling in his face that he’s a douche bag.

Profoundly I am better for this experience…I really am.


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